I was afraid to Tweet this morning...

Like every weekday morning I got up and got my daughter ready to catch the bus for school. I got online to check my emails while she ate her breakfast and watch some cartoons. We walked out the door, my iPhone stayed inside, my computer still sitting there, just her and I.
It was a normal morning but this morning she was extra excited. It was her last day of school before her Christmas break. She had helped me make a baby gift for her school teacher who is expecting her first grand son any moment now. She had helped me make some sweet treats for her bus driver and for her teachers for Christmas. She was excited to give her bus driver the little bag of goodies and get to school for her first ever school Christmas party.
Her father and I stressed to her how important it was for her to stay right next to Mommy & Daddy until the bus came to a complete stop. She knew to look both ways before stepping foot into the street to board the bus. She was standing right next to me, all of my attention was on her and still in a split second she darted out into the street in front of the moving bus. She was fine, she did not get hit by the bus but if the bus driver would not have stopped as quickly as she did, if the bus driver would not have turned the wheel to avoid hitting my child, this could have been a completely different story.
My daughter was standing right next to me. All eyes were on here, she had my full attention. Things happen that fast.
Just because I Tweet, just because I blog, just because I am on Facebook, does this mean that I would have been ridiculed just like Shellie was if God forbid my child had been struck by that bus?
From the time a child first takes a step they are fast and they just get quicker as they grow. You can watch them, be the most attentive mother, even hover, and you can't protect them from everything.
I was right there, she was right next to me, I was paying attention, I was not online, I was right there and she still could have lost her life.
This right there, what happened this morning, PROVES that you can do everything possible to protect your child and something bad can still happen.
I am besides myself this morning. I can not stop crying. I keep thinking "What if?". I can not imagine loosing my child. I can not imagine what Shellie is going through right now and I can not imagine why someone would choose to ridicule a mother when she just lost her young son.
It can happen so fast.
Everything that I have been thinking the past few days, since I first learned of the passing of Shellie's beautiful baby boy, has rushed to the front of my mind this morning. If Shellie would not have been on Twitter that day at all, if she would have gone about her day the same way she was, cleaning the chicken coop, decorating the house for Christmas, watching the boys play in the backyard, doing what a mother does, the same thing could have happened. She could have been standing right next to him and the same thing could have happened.
I remember what my best friend tells me all the time, that children are on loan from God. They are only ours until God decides to take them back. Some he takes sooner than others but they are all God's children and can all go in a split second. There is nothing we can do when God decides that it is time for our child to return to heaven.
I want to shake these people who are bashing Shellie and ask them "What if it was you, what if it was your child?"
How would you feel, just because you asked for prayers online, you are being told that you killed your child or that you are a negligent mother. Just because you Tweeted.
I was afraid to Tweet this morning about what happened. I know, just like Shellie knows, that your online community is strong and will be there for you but after seeing what has happened all over a mother wanting prayer for her child... I was afraid to tweet.
Having online friends is just like having a pen pal but it is instant communication.
Women have banned together online and helped each other through death and life. Through the good times and the bad. We have cheered each other on and virtually held each others hands. We have made life long friendships. Some may not even like one another but in times of need we will stand strong, shoulder to shoulder, and help out in anyway that we can.
I want to run to my online friends right now and cry, I want that support, to know that I am not a bad mother, my feelings to be validated, but I am afraid to Tweet.