Your Shape Challenge starts today!

This was me. I use to be thin. In fact I was thin my entire life. When I was in my late teens early 20's I weighed 80 lbs soaking wet. There was never much to me except for skin and bones.
I was thin then I got sick. This photo was taken a few months before I got sick. I was put on bed rest. I could not eat. I could not sleep. I was a mess. I was in and out of the hospital. I was put on some horrible medication. One of them made me gain 20 lbs in 2 weeks but at least I was hungry.
I could not do much as far as exercise went because I got tired just walking from my room to the bathroom. I was helpless and taking over 100 pills a day for my various illnesses.
As time went on the weight started packing on. In order to control the massive panic attacks that I was having, the Dr's made my Hyperthyroidism go "Hypo" which means you gain weight and are tired all the time. I had routine B12 shots and took so many vitamins to increase my energy that I can now successfully take 4 horse pills in one gulp.

I had so many Dr's and so many Dr's appointments. So many medications. I ended up having to go on medical leave from work and then eventually resign due to my medical condition. Almost three years and 60 lbs later I am now overweight but no longer sick.
I have no clue who I am anymore. I lost myself somewhere between the illnesses, medications and weight gain.

It is time to get myself back.
I started looking for work recently. I had signed a contract with the company that I worked for that once I was better and able to return to work then there would be a position open for me. There was a position open when I called to let them know I was ready. The position was exactly what I was doing before but just not in the same department and as an assistant instead of head. I was happy about that. I did everything they asked me to do in order to come back and then I waited. One day I got an email Thanking me for "applying" and telling me that they would keep my application on file for when a job came available that I was "qualified" for. EXCUSE ME??? How could I not be qualified for a job I did for years?
I called and spoke to my old manager. He informed me that yes I was qualified years ago but right now there are 100 people who are just as qualified as I am who have not been out for years. I was told not to hold my breath and to not "count on" ever having a job there again.
Nice.

So I moved on. I mean really, who wants to work for that large company when the owner has slept with so many woman that his wife has to hire someone to come in a spy on him AND a company that is all about who you are related to and will treat you different if you are not related to one of the "families". Yes, a very two faced company to work for but I was paid well and the benefits were great.
I started wearing makeup again. I had not worn makeup since I got married in 2003. I also started growing my hair out long again and straightening it. But, there was something still not right.

The weight was not right. I was not happy with my body at all. So I am doing something about it Thank's to Collective Bias, Ubisoft, Wal-Mart and a wonderful team of 10 beautiful bloggers. I am doing a weight loss challenge with Your Shape for Wii. I am sure you read about it in some of my past posts but since today is the first day of the challenge I figured I would go into more detail about what brought me to this point in my life.
I am going to do daily 15 minute workouts with Your Shape for Wii and gradually work my way up to 30 minute workouts 7 days a week. I am not going to be upset with myself for taking a day off here and there. I am just going to do the best job that I can do.
My biggest challenge is getting the motivation to do it daily because I am scared.
Doing this is one of the last steps to my recovery. It means that I am better, much much better and that is scary to me because that means I could very well get sick again.
I want to look in the mirror and instead of saying "Uh, I look fat" I want to say "Wow, I look healthy".
I want to feel good in clothes again and not like I am just wearing a tent to hide the fat.
I just want my life back and this is the final step I must take to get me back and to be happy with me. I know I will never be 80 lbs again and I don't want to be. I just want to be comfortable with myself. I would be happy being 140/150.
Oh, I never said what I weigh now....
172 pounds
Yep, that is right, I weigh 172 pounds.
To some that is not a lot but to me that number is way too high. TheMatDaddy weighs 178 pounds. I am really close to weighing more than him.
So here I go, I am starting the final journey to getting my life back on track. To getting me back. I am excited and I am scared and I cant wait to see what is going to happen in the next few months!
Keep checking back, I am sure it is going to be a very wild ride!



Here is the official list of the wonderful bloggers who are joining me in the Your Shape Challenge. Please help me cheer them on! Follow all of us on Twitter and follow the hash tag #yourshape for updates and some really cool surprises!

Amy @SelfishMom
http://www.selfishmom.com

Beth @PlusSizeMommy
http://theplussizemommy.com/

Claire @themomclaire
http://www.themomclaire.blogspot.com/

Elizabeth @Busymom
http://busymom.net/

Jodi @JodiGrundig
http://www.multitaskingmommy.com

Kelly @centsiblelife
http://www.thecentsiblelife.com

Kim @craftymamaof4
http://craftymamaof4.com

Lori @acowboyswife
http://acowboyswife.com

Stefanie @mommymusings
http://www.MommyMusings.com

Toni @Totally_Toni
http://www.juststopscreaming.com/

**I was provided a Wal-Mart gift card to purchase the Your Shape for Nintendo Wii. All of my opinions are my opinions! **